by Andrew Millar, USAF Veteran | Epilogue by Pastor Nathan Irving, USMC Veteran, IABC Certified Biblical Counselor
My name is Andrew Millar, and this is my story.
I wasn’t a particularly good Christian. While I had a fairly religious childhood—my parents taking us to church and Sunday school—the point didn’t really "click" with me. I knew that there was God, and that we were made in His image, and I was baptized after accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but I otherwise didn’t put much thought into Christianity as a whole. Why would I? I was already "saved," already a Christian. And I had lots of things going on: school, work, family life, hobbies, and so forth. Kids have quite a different view and belief system in terms of the world and what’s important. However, those views and beliefs can play a significant role later in life.
While going through Air Force basic training at nineteen, I was confronted with a question I hadn’t put much thought into for a very long time: What is your religion?
My religion was required for imprint on my dog tags. Dog tags are made for rather macabre purposes, such as body identification and burial rites—things I hadn’t considered until then. I just knew I was a Christian, so it took me a second to consider what denomination I was. While I was young, I attended several with my family. Was I a Baptist? Southern Baptist? Presbyterian? Something else? I chose Southern Baptist as it seemed to be the right choice at the time.
During basic raining, I attended Sunday church services. Not because I really wanted to hear the sermon, but because it got me out of the barracks for much of the day, which meant I wasn’t working. That’s essentially how I approached Christianity for much of my young adult life. I was a Christian; I was saved; what more was needed?
I became endeavored with more "earthly" pursuits. In my mind at the time, those seemed to be working well for me. I didn’t have much else to care about, which is not to say I was selfish. I cared about others and wanted them to lead happy lives. I viewed myself as a nice guy.
But as time went on, I deteriorated. Things weren’t going so well, and I’d eventually discover why. I wasn’t centering Christ in my life. I wasn’t attending church, nor doing much to improve my personal or professional education.
Instead, I developed an alcohol addiction—but I didn’t see this as self-destructive behavior. I had convinced myself that I was pursuing happiness. In truth, I was living life aimlessly.
Even after getting married, my wife and I attended church somewhat regularly , and still I didn’t put deeper thought into our faith.
I had many times of darkness, wrestling with my inner demons. I ended up in a mental hospital for a month after a suicide attempt.
My marriage, while initially happy and blissful, deteriorated significantly over the years, leading me to that breaking point where I felt like I could no longer handle the problems—and believed they were not my fault. After all, I was a "nice guy."
I started going to conventional therapy, which gave me the opportunity to talk, getting things out of my mind. Though that felt good, there didn’t seem to be much long-term result, that I could see. Sure, I was working on myself and my problems, but it was just talk and some minor feedback. Though while I was in the mental hospital, I attended a therapy session that planted a seed of change in my heart, which was the beginning of my renewed relationship with the Lord. But that experience wasn’t enough for me, and others there, receiving therapy, felt the same.
We were there to get better, and we wanted to get better, but there weren’t enough staff members to take care of us all. One patient who was undergoing alcohol addiction counseling asked for the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program. But the staff couldn’t get an AA therapist to come to the facility. They were able to get a Narcotics Anonymous counselor, and I attended because I honestly wanted more help and figured they may have something good to impart. While the counselor, and the whole session, was great, one phrase he said struck me and it’s stuck with me ever since: "F--- being nice! Be kind."
I wish I could say that was the turning point in my life. That would come later. In the meantime, I separated myself from my wife and kids.
In 2002, I retired from the military and took a job in Nebraska and then Virginia. Over the next year and a half, I slowly rekindled my relationship with my wife and kids and eventually we moved to Texas to be a united family once again.
Despite this rekindling of joy in my life, I was still enveloped in deep depression. My wife told me on multiple occasions (sometimes still to this day) that my depression is palpable to the rest of the family, bringing them down. I was trying; I was nice to them, a good husband, father, and leader—what I thought they wanted and needed. But still, I was inadvertently hindering them from living life to the fullest.
For years, my wife told me to seek help through some of the resources she had pursued on my behalf, and I dismissed her claim, saying I didn’t need help and that I could handle this on my own. One resource she’d given me was the phone number for Fallen Soldiers March. One day, out of kindness toward her, and listening to her, I took the advice I needed and called them, though reluctantly. Little did I know at that time that this was among one of the best decisions I’d make in my life.
Fallen Soldiers Ministries put in contact with Nathan Irving, an elder and biblical counselor with Brookside Baptist Church in Myrtle Springs, TX. I wanted this therapy to start as every other conventional therapy session I had experienced before: airing my grievances, problems, and issues. However, and thankfully, Nathan had a different plan.
After some initial introductions, discussing what I needed, and where I stood in my knowledge of the Bible and my faith as a whole, the session quickly moved into pursuing an understanding of the Bible.
At first, thinking these sessions were supposed to be about talking about my problems, I was confused. But over time, I began to understand his approach.
In 1 Corinthians 10:24, the Apostle Paul wrote, "No one should seek their own good, but the good of others" (NIV). Nathan exemplifies this. He took time out of his busy day to sit down with me and help me. I was struck by that. Many times, I volunteered for various causes and even sat down with others to help them work through their problems.
Now, with Nathan, I was in an entirely different position—I was the one receiving help. At the time, I didn’t know he was building in my heart and mind a solid foundation from God’s Word so I could then continue to build a sound and stable relationship with God: "According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 3:10–11).
Through many sessions with Nathan and the readings he gave me, I was on my path toward true salvation and kindness. We discussed various aspects of our faith, and he kindly answered my many questions. His in-depth knowledge and his kind-hearted attitude were blessings.
One concern I shared with Nathan was about the nature of my fellow Christians. I explained to him my worry that while they claimed to be good Christians, some of them lived and acted as if there was no everlasting life in the kingdom of heaven.
Though Nathan didn’t have an answer, he praised my devotion and consideration of others.
Nathan Irving embodied all the traits of a great teacher: humility, credibility, and approachability. While our sessions were limited, and I certainly wanted more, I knew others needed him. In the end, I knew I was in a better place, and I wanted others to receive the same great counseling he provided. I cannot thank Nathan and Fallen Soldiers March enough for the help they have given me, exemplifying Philippians 2:4–5:
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus" (NIV).
V/r,
by Andrew "Siri" Millar, USAF Veteran
Epilogue by Pastor Nathan Irving, USMC Veteran, IABC Certified Biblical Counselor
"From him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen" (Romans 11:36).
All credit for any success in counseling goes to Christ alone. The counselor is simply an unprofitable servant.
Biblical counseling begins with the conviction that there is a God who has created all things and therefore owns them by absolute and unchallengeable right. "By him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, . . . all things were created through him and for him" (Colossians 1:16, author emphasis).
God dictates what His creatures should and should not do (summarized in the Ten Commandments). He owns His creatures and has determined their purpose: He made mankind and all things to glorify Him. But humans are unique in that we not only fulfill God’s reason for our existence but also grow in enjoyment of the One who made us. This blissful arrangement is what the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, enjoyed in the Garden of Eden as individuals and as a couple.
Biblical counseling continues with an awareness that we are no longer in Eden. Something terrible happened, and there was very little enjoyment of God.
Few people are living for God’s glory, and none do so naturally. We have fallen from the high estate into which we were born as a human race. This fallenness originated with Adam and Eve when they chose to rebel against their Creator. Instead of desiring His glory above all else, they sought their own. And so, every person thereafter, as descendants of the first parents, carries the same rebellion in our hearts. "God made man upright, but they have sought out many schemes" (Ecclesiastes 7:29). When we sin, we’re not merely making a mistake; we’re choosing to commit treason against the King of heaven, our Creator. The just punishment, therefore, is death.
"But God, being rich in mercy . . ." (Ephesians 2:4).
If the truth stopped there, biblical counseling would be vanity. Gloriously, God—desiring to make known the riches of His grace—made a way for His people—for all have rebelled against Him (Romans 3:23), to be reconciled to Him. That "way" is Jesus Christ (John 14:6)—He who is truly God and truly man. He lived a perfect life and fulfilled all the righteous requirements of the Creator's law. He then died in our place—the death we, His people, deserved for our rebellion against Him. He was buried, but He rose on the third day (1 Corinthians 15:4), demonstrating His power to save us.
Our Creator declared that whoever calls on (believes in) the name of the Lord Jesus Christ will be saved (Romans 10:13; John 3:16). By faith, the sinner receives Christ's righteousness; his sins are forgiven, and he has hope of life everlasting to the glory of God the Father.
That is the gospel, which is the foundation of biblical counseling. And continuing from that foundation is true biblical counseling and one’s sanctification journey: "By a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified" (Hebrews 10:14).
The Creator, having formed the individual and then saved him from his sin, recreated and transformed him into the image of Jesus Christ, owns him by a double right: as the Creator and the re-Creator. Far from loosening our obligation to obey God’s commandments, salvation reinforces that we obey Him. Jesus Christ Himself said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15).
Love compels us to learn what pleases the One who saved us, and so biblical counseling seeks to inform the believer and stir him up to greater devotion to his Savior. The Bible doesn’t speak of the "carnal Christian" but of the "sinner" and the repentant "believer" in the Lord Jesus Christ. Having laid that foundation—the meta-narrative, the big picture—of why we are here and exist, biblical counseling proceeds to call the counselee to live according to God’s purpose: for the glory of God and the joy of His people.
For the glory of God and the joy of His children,
by Pastor Nathan Irving, USMC Veteran, IABC Certified Biblical Counselor
Ad majorem Dei gloriam ~ 1 Cor 10:31
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV Text Edition: 2025.
The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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