by David "Alden" Inglee, Army Veteran Epilogue by USAF Veteran Pastor Joseph "Robby" Robinson ACBC Phase III Candidate
In John 10:10 (ASV) Jesus says, "I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly." As many times as I had heard that verse, it never really seemed to carry as much weight with me as it did for others. I was raised in a Christian home and baptized when I was young because I knew ABOUT God. I knew the stories, prayers, traditions, and implications. I got good feelings when I went to church camp. I enjoyed helping people. I felt I had a relationship with God like what I perceived other Christians had. I thought that was what it meant to be a Christian.
When I was eighteen, my Grandpa Ted (Theodore) died unexpectedly. He had been an example of a man of faith for my entire life, and in his final moments he exhibited nothing but peace and joy. He was going home. Approximately one month after his death, my high school girlfriend of two years was killed in a car accident. She had been another Christian example in my life, and she was taken unexpectedly. My faith was attacked, and I was angry with God for taking them from me. I had wanted to join the Army for my entire childhood, but the plan was to enlist after I graduated from college. Now with my faith being attacked and my fighting with God, I ran. I dropped out of college at Oklahoma Christian University and joined the Army.
I joined the Army in 2009 as an Infantryman and put everything I had into being—and I was good at it. I was promoted to sergeant quickly, ahead of my peers, and was consistently selected for responsibilities beyond my rank. I deployed to Iraq for a year in November of 2010, and I re-enlisted to be stationed in Dahlonega, Georgia, at the 5th Ranger Training Battalion. I was living for myself and achieving my goals.
After sustaining a few injuries and having a couple surgeries, I decided to get out of the Army and attend the University of Oklahoma on the GI Bill. While I still look back on my time at OU in a positive light, going back to school brought some of the darkest times of my life. I had found my identity in my military achievements, and that didn’t mean much on a college campus. When I wasn’t in class or at the dog park with my Brittany Spaniel, Colt, I was drinking heavily. I was lost and trying to find comfort in alcohol and women.
During my last semester at OU, I hit rock bottom and decided that enough was enough. I gave up drinking and women to try to restore my relationship with God. After I graduated, I moved home and lived with my parents until I could find a job. I attended church regularly and was finally starting to piece my life back together as a twenty-eight-year-old living with his parents.
I met my wife, Izzy, in class while I was at OU, but she was in a relationship and denied all my attempts at flattery. It was not until I had graduated and moved home that we were able to reconnect (this time when she was single). It was the relationship I had always wanted. I proposed to Izzy approximately nine months after our first date. I was accepted to join the Tulsa Police Department, and Izzy and I got married within a few months after I graduated from the academy.
I was finally beginning to experience life abundantly, or so I thought. I was happily married to a beautiful Christian woman, I had a career I felt purpose doing, and we were involved in church together. We found out we were pregnant in February of 2021. Izzy’s morning sickness hit harder than expected, but the doctor said it was normal. We went for a check-up at thirteen weeks for an ultrasound to see our child, and we got to see his face! He had my nose. We were ecstatic, despite Izzy being exhausted and sick. Then we found out that the ultrasound tech couldn’t pick up a heartbeat. They measured him, and he was a couple weeks behind where he should have been in size. It took special equipment to detect the heartbeat. The doctor told us our baby was dying, and there was nothing to be done. After our baby died, Izzy couldn’t pass him naturally and required surgery.
I had grieved loss before, but never with someone else. There were times that the grieving brought us closer together. Grieving a shared intimate loss with someone is complicated. I saw my wife crushed because she felt as though she couldn’t do the one thing women were designed to do and have been doing since the beginning of time. She expressed pain in feeling as if she had let me down and said being around me reminded her of that. I wanted to comfort her, but I felt as though I was one of the sources of her pain. Our relationship soon became distant and cold. I turned to pornography for comfort and escape. I was doing the same thing I had done when I was attacked before—I was running.
I attended the Mighty Oaks Program in February of 2022. I was finally able to dig deep and realize just how broken I really was, while at the same time removing the shame that comes with that. Romans 8:1 (ESV) says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." I had spent so much time trying to forget my past and trying to forgive myself. It wasn’t until Mighty Oaks that someone spelled it out for me—If I could forgive myself, then why did Jesus have to die on the cross? I came home from Mighty Oaks with a purpose and motivation, but I needed direction.
The staff at Mighty Oaks helped me get signed up with a Fallen Soldiers Ministries biblical counselor, and within a couple of weeks of coming home I was meeting with Pastor Robinson. We initially focused on the grief I was feeling from the loss of the baby, but he noticed some deeper issues and we began spending more time focusing on idols. The deeper issues of my self-esteem, pride, and the way I found my identity were things I had struggled with my entire life. Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (ESV). It wasn’t until I started receiving biblical counseling that I realized that my pride and my identity had not been in Christ. My old self was still alive and kicking and needed to be crucified with Christ.
We found out Izzy was pregnant again the week I came home from Mighty Oaks. Our son Theodore James was born October 20t, 2022! It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and I am truly experiencing abundant life through Him.
Through the ministry of Fallen Soldiers Ministries (FSM), I had the privilege of working with Alden after he completed the Mighty Oaks program. Our first session started with Alden and Izzy together. They had been deeply hurt by the loss of their baby and the confession of his pornography.
Alden and Izzy had been offered the services of an outside counselor, though not a biblical counselor. They chose instead to use the service provided through FSM. Through biblical counseling, Alden was able to find answers and address the root causes of his problems. Many secular and integrational methods would have stopped at the issue of pornography and provided ways to curb the behavior. The problem is that it would never have addressed the heart; they would have never prepared Alden for life's challenges.
Through biblical counseling, God was preparing Alden for the future. We could not know what future struggles may come, but God did. This is a significant difference between biblical counseling and any other methodology. In biblical counseling, the Holy Spirit is the agent of change. He changes hearts, builds faith in God, and prepares counselees for future trials and struggles. This is what happened with Alden.
Shortly after our first session, Izzy stopped attending, not because of a lack of desire but because of severe illness. As Alden and I worked through the sessions, I could see recognition but not understanding. He was not fully trusting in the gospel in his everyday life. I had concerns as the news of Izzy’s progression through her second pregnancy was bleak at times. I feared I would have to counsel Alden through the loss of another child.
However, God had a different plan. I instead saw a change in Alden. I started to see a man who understood that the gospel is not just for our salvation but for daily life. I began to see Colossians 3:5–17 happening in his life. The Holy Spirit was transforming him.
In his article, Alden left out a few details that I think I need to include. First, the ongoing issues with Izzy during her second pregnancy were severe and resulted in required bed rest, financial hardship from her medical problems, and work stressors. Also during this time, Alden responded to an active shooter event where multiple people were shot, and five people died. I wanted to include these details to highlight that God was transforming Alden through these events. I also want to encourage other counselors and counselees that God is always working His plan for His glory.
The partnership of Mighty Oaks and FSM makes a difference in the lives of people like Alden, Izzy, and Theodore.
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 ESV)
Robby Robinson
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