Fallen Soldiers Ministries has been approached by Navy Seal Team members to write for FSM's Quarterly Newsletter when inspired, time allows and anonymity is protected. They will use the pseudonym "The Chief".
This is their fourth contribution and we look forward to their future contributions.
by "The Chief"
One of the main issues I see in our culture and era, and one most discussed, is lack of confidence. Ubiquitous are the resources dealing with this topic: instilling self-confidence in our children, our sports teams, workplaces, schools, and so forth. Our current generation is the most anxious and depressed on record, so seemingly everyone realizes the need.
Conversely, paired with the need for confidence is the danger of overconfidence, which leads inevitably to arrogance and ruin.
In Plutarch’s account of ancient Sparta, he attributed a statement to a Spartan king, Archidamus. When the king observed his son engaging recklessly in combat, he said, "Either increase your strength or reduce your self-confidence."
All can see how important confidence is, particularly in young men, and the potential for destruction should it burn uncontrolled. As Scripture says, "Pride goes before destruction" (Proverbs 16:18).
I believe our culture largely endeavors to instill this virtue in wrong ways—certainly by antibiblical means. The method used most is continual, hollow encouragement. For instance, we tell children from a young age, "You can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it." While I certainly appreciate the power of disciplined focus and the wonders an individual can achieve with a strong work ethic, the statement is false. It’s written in Disney scripts and children’s books but not in Scripture. By all means, do encourage children and adults to set high goals and push for excellence; but to claim their capability is infinite is a lie.
For example, I could never be a starting center in the NBA; I’m too deficient physically. Likewise, we all have many restraints intellectually, socially, financially, etc. What if my son dreams of being the Queen of England or fighting in the Battle of Tours, which took place in 732 A.D? Should I encourage him with the falsity of a romanticized slogan? Equal to the anxiety-laden weakling, yet more dangerous, is the brash fool unaware of his limitations.
Another popular method of implanting confidence is never allowing people, particularly children, to fail. We hand out trophies to those who lost the game and awards for mediocre or subpar performances. After all, we don’t want anyone to feel left out or have their confidence dashed after genuinely giving their best effort.
I’m not speaking against kindness or mercy, but the Western world has grown too soft. Struggle creates strength. To my eye, a far better word for children inquiring about their future is this: "You can find the path the Father has for you," or "You can do everything God has planned for your life."
Many Christian parents are rightfully concerned about instilling self-confidence in their children, but most are attempting that in exactly the wrong and opposite way. Futile statements dressed as encouragement and trying to protect someone by not allowing them opportunities to make mistakes do not bolster confidence. The former yields a confidence shortage, and the latter imparts too great a reliance on others.
When I was young, my father assigned tasks for me to help around the property. As a young teenager, I could operate a large, zero-turn lawn mower and cut the grass on a four-acre property. I could safely and efficiently use a table saw, circular saw, and a log splitter, maintain an electric fence, reliably tend to the needs of chickens and goats, and do many other things. At the time, those were simply chores to me. Looking back, I see that the training and my dad’s trust in me to complete tasks were instilling confidence. I grew to perceive myself as capable (confident) of many different duties without help.
The ultimate exhibition of my father’s trust and teaching was when he assigned a task I’d never done before and expected me to complete it. Trust and expectation speak mountains to young men and women while demonstrating how our heavenly Father will suddenly hand us unexpected responsibilities in life, such as placing us in leadership roles in His church.
Likewise, He watches our reliance on Him to help us carry out His plans (Matthew 11:29-30).
Ultimately, confidence comes from competence.
Think of something you’re entirely confident doing. Let’s use the illustration of tying your shoes. Would you be able to complete the task if a thousand people were observing you? Of course, because you thoroughly understand the task and how to complete it. As so, you’re competent with whatever other skills you’ve learned.
Competence comes when learning from a master.
Case in point, I’ve spent years faithfully practicing my guitar five days a week. With this disciplined approach, I’ve certainly made improvements. Although I had watched YouTube videos of various skilled musicians, studied tablature books, and played live for audiences, my improvement spiked when I hired an instructor to teach me weekly. I learned I had been practicing inefficiently and neglecting whole areas of mastery. The guiding hand of an expert will bring competence to a neophyte.
Yes, innovators exist in every field—those of any skill set on the cutting edge of discoveries and developing those. However, undoubtedly, innovators are themselves masters of their crafts. The point: We cannot improve a field until we’ve mastered the basics.
To master earthly living, which we all should aspire to, we must study under the true Master: God, the Author and Sustainer of life itself. Who better to teach us how to live day-to-day than the One who gave us life? As the apostle Paul said, "Bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come" (1 Timothy 4:8).
The foremost mastery every Christian should seek is a relationship with God Almighty. If the spiritual disciplines (Scripture reading and memorization, prayer, self-control, etc.) are not the foremost efforts in our daily lives, we must make changes. A Christian who knows the Word and faithfully walks with his Lord is prepared for literally any circumstance that may envelop him. He can walk boldly through life—confident—because the strength he draws is not his own but from the Master.
In Martin Lloyd Jones’s phenomenal commentary on the Sermon on the Mount, he states, "The ordinary Christian, though he may never have read any philosophy at all, knows and understands more about life than the greatest expert who is not a Christian."
How true! The Bible-believing Christian who walks with the Lord will be most in touch with true reality. More so than all experts who’ve earned doctorates, accolades, and field experiences. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 9:10), and a wise man knows how to achieve confidence.
Do you want confidence?
Seek the Lord, the giver of wisdom, strength, and purpose. Just as a small child may fearlessly walk in a dark wood astride his strong father, so can we boldly approach any trial, confident that our Father is with us (Matthew 28:20).
In closing, I offer this warning: Do not take competence to the level of not needing others. Self-reliance is a mighty tool but a tyrannical master that has led many people to abandon God, without whom they could not so much as draw their next breath.
God, in His infinite mercy, has designed our needs to be met by Him, which includes the gift of human relationships—our brothers and sisters in Christ are indispensable to His ultimate plan in our lives and in the glory to come. Our Father did not intend us to live in a vacuum with only Him, as we see from the Genesis account of Adam needing a helper, a human companion, provided by God.
The austere Hollywood hero gruffly states, "I’m better alone"—a mindset of folly in the reality of life’s woes. A cohesive team will prevail and always demolish an individual opponent, no matter how great the rival may be (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
I need God. I need others.
Having been in life-or-death scenarios of my job description, I can tell you that in those moments, my two great confidences were these: The Lord was with me, and so were my teammates. So, too, in the harrowing trials of life, our Father’s presence and the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ carry me through.
You see, true confidence is not confidence at all; it is faith that God will be who He says He is and will do what He has promised.
Our lives to His honor; hail to the King!
by "The Chief" Chief Petty Officer, SEAL
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